Sincerely, Lost

There is a line in the movie Thor that states something to the effect of “For the first time in my life, I don’t know what I’m supposed to do.” This has been a big problem in my life lately, which is probably why this line stood out to me. We always, as human nature demands, look for things we can relate to. I feel like I have followed this trail of breadcrumbs my whole life just to find that it leads to an unfinished trail, and no more signs to follow. A big part of this feeling is career related. Starting as a child, when you think about what you want to do when you grow up, the possibilities are so limited, and most are okay with that. Our answers were, “ I want to be a fireman, or a policeman, or a doctor.” I wanted to be a veterinarian since before I can remember declaring it. I grew up always having at the very least three pets in the house at a time. Now that I am in college, it’s like the more opportunities they inform us off, the more we have to weigh the outcomes, leaving my mind all muddled up with who-knows-what. If only there was someone that could tell us where we’d perform best, or what would make us happy. I always knew to take band in high school because I enjoyed playing the recorder in elementary school and I was good at it. Better than most. But now my world is so much bigger than a class of 25 kids or a graduating class of 400 young adults. Now, I am to be competing with the whole nation. And depending on what field I pursue, maybe the world. Where is the next breadcrumb now? Every time I feel like I might have found my destination, say, material engineering, it turns out that is not where I meant to go. So I backtrack and look for other venues. Right now I am looking at Physical Therapy. But required education for it just heightened. And though I think it is a very respectable career, and one that I admire, I don’t know that it fits me. I also look back on music. I have a great background to go into the music industry. I have played flute for 8 years, and tuba and a little baritone for one. More importantly, I was Drum Major (Field Conductor) for the marching band all four years of my high school career. I attended three camps at the University of Georgia. And I led a band comprised of all four of the high school marching bands in my home county. I was a very blessed person in that area of my life. But the only reason I got that far was because of the breadcrumbs God led the people of my life to leave for me. I just don’t know where to look next though. Can anyone relate?

Sincerely,

Lost without a breadcrumb

Reading like a Writer

In a text required for my English class, called Inquiry, there are many methods suggested that are designed to make the audience better readers, and in route, better writers. If you learn to read with a critical mind what others have written, you find what serves to better persuade you and what you find more boring that watching paint dry. Personally, this "becoming a critic" is very difficult for me. I can go by rules, and point out technical errors in grammar, punctuation, and spelling. But I am not normally one to critique another's work if that is their creative masterpeice, and those are their personal views. This reading, however, provided me with a way to critically read by giving specific questions to ask myself in the "conversation" with the author. The one I find most useful, and have consequentially adhered to for my research paper on the conflict the United States has with Iraq, is "You call this EVIDENCE??" Call me naive or what you will, but it just did nor occur to me that the opinions that people assert in their papers need more support sometimes. (I know, reflecting now, I think Why did I listen to BS?!) I have found that writers may make an assertions and back it up with a statistic, but then they jump to a conclusion that has no bridge to get your there! Who says that  people were devastated by the deployment of our soldiers? Which people? Yes, the soldiers were sent, and maybe it did not directly involve them, these are facts based on what was documented as happening. But this does not mean that the men and women did not willingly go, or that it was devastating! Before, I would have just accepted the author's assumptions in this partcular article I refer to as truth, or at least grounded on some solid foundation. But maybe I should questions more the things I read, or else, who knows what I will find myself believing next time? And God willing, maybe I will remember this while I write and think a little more like the critical reader.

Another New Beginning

Beginnings. I have been getting a lot of new ones lately. New Beginnings. College is the most conspicuous. I, like so many before me, graduated and left behind high school and a lot of the activities I did just eight short months ago. Now I have had the chance to get a little acclimated to a university campus here at KSU. It feels good to have a clean sheet before me. But on the other hand, it is a little intimidating. Like couldn't they give us more than just marginal lines to write our new adventures and mistakes upon? Maybe a clean slate could mean something more like college-ruled, haha. A metaphor not to be taken seriously, please.
But here I stand with another new beginning. A Blog. I have decided to name it "It's a Mad World". Why? Because my life, even if just the way it is played in my head, is a mad world. Mad as in Insane. Like Frankenstein, or whatever figure pops to mind for you when you think "mad scientist". And the other reason? Let's face it. The song I allude to is just the right mixture of melancholy and irony to almost feel nastalgic and make one think about the world as a whole. The Big Picture.
I'm expecting to discover things about myself while writing in this blog. One thing I think I will find is that I look at the Big Picture a lot. Only time will tell what this turns into, however. Thank goodness, that to get me started I am going to have some guidelines for this new beginning. I have created thisblog for an English class I am taking. We will be given freewriting activities to post on our blogs. We recieve a participation grade, but mostly it is for us to practice writing out our thoughts as they come: the essence of rough drafts in writing. Also, it allows us the chance to get feedback from our classmates, who will be doing the same things. All I can say, if you are one of those classmates, is brace yourself. Mine is a Mad World.